Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
