this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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