i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
vagina is talking i cant
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
