I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
