dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
