i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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