You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
