I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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