Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
