God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
