1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
