dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize
