Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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