i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
