also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
