Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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