I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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