One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
