grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Your cock deserves a montage
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
