its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
