I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
