i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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