You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
