I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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