Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
