sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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