He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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