I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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