you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it's like iHOP with fire
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
