someone threw a dead crab at me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
