More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
