all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
