Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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