I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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