i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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