What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
