Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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