She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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