There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
