Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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