I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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