I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
