I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
