as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize