I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
