Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize