Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
