I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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