I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
