i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Operation Purity has been aborted
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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