I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I faked an abortion last night.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
