Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You made out with two different species that night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
