My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
either way he was missing a nipple.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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