dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
