Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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