just tell him i said nine months
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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