it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
