girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
